I remember when I was young, life was great, I used to tell my friends about my dreams and my ambitions and I was fascinated by everything that I came across. After my matric, I went to tertiary to study Internal Auditing and I graduated. Now facing the corporate looking for a job, I was looking for a job for three years and no opportunity came my way; and my self-esteem started to sink as I was getting old facing the challenges of the world.
Being raised by a single parent, my father, I blamed everything on why my parents had divorced. During my tertiary, I wanted to visit my mother and my father refused, he actually swore that should l go to my mother nothing will go right for me, he had anger from the past between him and my mother, and I was the victim who was suffering the most because he blackmailed me that if I went to my mother, she will have to pay my fees and knowing that my mother was not working, I had no choice but to stay with him in order to complete my studies.
While struggling looking for a job, I remembered the words that my father said to me that nothing will go right for me and myself-talk started to change, sometimes I wished that I was never born or I wish I could just die and forget about everything. My confidence was damaged. I stopped applying for a job and I was very tired of sending CVs to every company and get no reply or phone call for an interview and I also stopped carrying my cell phone with me. I gave up on myself entirely.
Because God is great, when you have done doing things by yourself and knowing that you have tried everything, that is where God comes in to lift you up, Two companies called looking for me on the same day inviting me for an interview, my father answered my cell phone and he took the message, on that day I was in town to meet a certain guy who was helping to get a job and he took my CV thereafter I went back home, when I arrived at home, my father relayed the good news that I had two interviews on different dates and it was an internship program. I attended those interviews and I passed both of them now I had to choose which company I would like to work for, I compared their offer and took the highest offer.
I was very excited that now I am working but myself-talk did not change even though I got a job. I was negative about everything. If someone would compliment me, I would say stop playing with me. I always compared myself to other people; felt like I was a no body and that there was nothing that I can do right. Sometimes I would say that I was born in a wrong family, I was not meant to be successful and that it was not easy to make money.
After my internship program, I stayed at home for two months and I was invited to another interview, it was an employment agency while they were interviewing me, there was another person in the boardroom who was assessing me the way I presented myself, then after the interview I was given a report, the report stated that I am depressed and am lacking self confidence.
I started to read self help books and learning more about affirmations statements saying good things about myself. I wrote the negative statements about myself and changed them into positive statements:
Negative statements
I am born to be poor
I cannot achieve anything
I am no body
I am not unique
Positive statements
I am born to succeed
I can easily achieve anything I set my mind to
I am unique and am God’s image
I am somebody
Ask yourself one million dollar question: How much do you love yourself? If you undermine yourself, you are giving permission to other people to undermine you and always be careful what you say to your kids or to someone who worth your opinion . Remember treasure your words.
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